oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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