I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
