he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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