I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
