You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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