Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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