You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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