just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
