What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize