your thong is hanging out like whoa
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
