In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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