No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
