I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
