please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
one might say we're banned from that church
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
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i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
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Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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