I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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