Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
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