You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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