Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
