im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Sorry my hands just texted you
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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