she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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