Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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