Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
