dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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