Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Shame is for Republicans.
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