I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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