Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
