so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
ok first of all what the fuck
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
