they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are going to name an STD after you.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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