You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize