THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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