If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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