I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
