I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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