I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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