So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
