Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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