Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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