am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me