We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
