Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Let's get the cat blown out
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
