I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Randomize
