I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
her vagine was all disorganized.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
