Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
