Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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