My hair reeks of homosexuality.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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