Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
