I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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