I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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