He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
