My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
