ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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