I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
