is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
He passed out mid-signature
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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