and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
