New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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