so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
