im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
