strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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