but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
