I'm lost and stupid without you.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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