I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
